Ya Gotta Laugh

Puchy (one of my older bros), Pops, and Me circa Christmas in Delaware 2003/2004.



Puchy, Moms, and Me.


So, March 3 marked my parents' wedding anniversary. My folks are a bit nutty. So, lemme explain: For the longest time my three older brothers and I thought Ma and Pop got married March 4th. 

We thought so, because, well, that's the date my mom told us. Until one year we were wishing her a happy anniversary and she looks at us like we made the mistake: 'Your father and I got married on March 3rd,' she said with a bit of contempt in her voice! 

Ooooooook. Needless to say, nowadays I don't even know what day to call and one year I jammed my Pops up by telling him the wrong day. I just stay out of it now.

So today I give my Moms a ring. Here's the gist of the convo. Oh boy.

Loving Son: So, Mom, how was your anniversary?

Nutty Mom: It was good, but Jay, I'm about to go walking with the girls.

Loving Son: Ok. But real quick, Ma. Did you guys do anything?

Nutty Mom: We were gonna go out to eat, but then Magdalena (their niece) stopped by. (Loving Son Note: Magdalena is always at my parents house, it's not like they haven't seen her in forever.)

Loving Son: So, how long have you guys been married now?

Nutty Mom: Oh, God....I don't know. [Laughs]

Nutty Mom: What's it from 1962?

Loving Son: Mom, I was an English major, I don't know. Lemme get a calculator.

Nutty Mom: I think 45 years.

Loving Son: Looks like it's 47 years, Mom.

Nutty Mom: Oh gosh....That's two more years than what I wanted it to be.

Loving Son: Ok, Mom. I'ma let you go before you start saying some crazy stuff.

Nutty Mom: Ok, I'll call you later. Don't forget Victor's (my other brother, not pictured) birthday is next week. Love you.


My Mom is crazy! But one thing I will say, even though growing up I never saw my parents be all that affectionate with each other, I always saw them crack jokes on each other. And they always seemed to enjoy the company of one another.

I had a meet-and-greet breakfast with an editor not too long ago and he surprised me when he asked me this question: How would you describe your parents?

My response: 'They have great comedic timing.'

 The editor paused for a moment and I thought I effed up. But then he roared with laughter and said, 'What a wonderful thing to be able to say about your parents.'

I never asked my parents what the secret to their success is, in terms of maintaining a relationship. But if I had to guess, I'd think they'd tell me, 'You gotta laugh."

I'm bullshitting. Truth be told, they'd probably look at me and say, 'Whadda ya wanna know that for," and bristle. Then change the channel to TBS or Telemundo. LOL.

Had my "career" begun to DEFINE me?

Two months before 2009, I walked away from a full-time, extremely flexible, well-paying job that came with an exorbitant amount of praise from peers and the coveted VIP pass that comes with working with the "right" people in the entertainment industry.

I have popped bottles of your favorite Rosé, Ace of Spades, sipped Louis XIII and have woken up on the finest thread count in suites that you only dream of staying in (ie: Las Ventanas).

I was doing pretty damn good considering the failing economy and the price of gas ... add the weekly car wash and I was doing 100 bucks plus a week EASY!

One month before I decided to walk away from all that was fabulous, I lost my friend and colleague, Chris Baker in a horrible plane crash.

Chris was the good guy ... if anyone was going to make it, he would! So how come he didn't make it this time? We had rode together, living the high life for three years as friends, comrades and colleagues and at times felt invincible.

We both stood no more than 5'2" and were ready to fight ANYBODY on a moments notice for what we believed we deserved! Losing him not only crushed me but got me to thinking ...

Who am I really?

Am I "The Girl That Reps Travis Barker" … "the Linkin Park Chick" … "The Chick That Could Put You On The List" … "The Chick With The Tickets" … or was I Myleik, Brenda and Bill's daughter? Had my "career" begun to DEFINE me?

--
define |diˈfīn|

verb [ trans. ]

2 mark out the boundary or limits of : [as adj. ] ( defined) clearly defined boundaries.

• make clear the outline of; delineate : she defined her eyes by applying eyeshadow.
--

Had I marked out my OWN boundaries? Started limiting myself? Was I defining myself based what on I did as opposed to who I was? Indeed I had.

So I stopped. I quit and I moved.

My resolution for 2009? To create MY own definition for my own life! While I loved what I did and still love what I did … BOY DID I! That shit don't make me. I make me! And like Sugafree said, "I don't need you! N*gga I need me!"

I need me.

In 2009, I need me to get back to EXACTLY what it was that made me … that got me "there" … and that made everyone want to work with me.

Like Jay the Great says, "'09 is MINE!"

And it doesn't belong to anyone else but me.

No boundaries.

No limits.

Get over yourself … when it's time for you to go … you aren't the "CEO of …," "The Editor-In-Chief of ….," "Assistant to …."

You are YOU!

Resolve To...

- Be mindful

- Meditate with the Monks

- Build a better RockaCandy.com

- Start a small Web site about gratitude

- Go to the gun range with my dad more often

- Read one book a month

- Make time to date someone seriously

- Budget

- Try a new restaurant every other week, asking for their "most popular dish"

- Weekly Boxing

- Design a font

- Drink more water

- Create an iPhone game

- Go on a date with Nia Long

- Make it to Amsterdam

- Road trip from L.A. to Vegas

You Got The Juice Now, Playa!

Unbelievable...

MTV Shows

For the full list, click here....

To My Children's Future

Dear Malia and Sasha,

I know that you’ve both had a lot of fun these last two years on the campaign trail, going to picnics and parades and state fairs, eating all sorts of junk food your mother and I probably shouldn’t have let you have. But I also know that it hasn’t always been easy for you and Mom, and that as excited as you both are about that new puppy, it doesn’t make up for all the time we’ve been apart. I know how much I’ve missed these past two years, and today I want to tell you a little more about why I decided to take our family on this journey.

When I was a young man, I thought life was all about me—about how I’d make my way in the world, become successful, and get the things I want. But then the two of you came into my world with all your curiosity and mischief and those smiles that never fail to fill my heart and light up my day. And suddenly, all my big plans for myself didn’t seem so important anymore. I soon found that the greatest joy in my life was the joy I saw in yours. And I realized that my own life wouldn’t count for much unless I was able to ensure that you had every opportunity for happiness and fulfillment in yours. In the end, girls, that’s why I ran for President: because of what I want for you and for every child in this nation.

I want all our children to go to schools worthy of their potential—schools that challenge them, inspire them, and instill in them a sense of wonder about the world around them. I want them to have the chance to go to college—even if their parents aren’t rich. And I want them to get good jobs: jobs that pay well and give them benefits like health care, jobs that let them spend time with their own kids and retire with dignity.

I want us to push the boundaries of discovery so that you’ll live to see new technologies and inventions that improve our lives and make our planet cleaner and safer. And I want us to push our own human boundaries to reach beyond the divides of race and region, gender and religion that keep us from seeing the best in each other.

Sometimes we have to send our young men and women into war and other dangerous situations to protect our country—but when we do, I want to make sure that it is only for a very good reason, that we try our best to settle our differences with others peacefully, and that we do everything possible to keep our servicemen and women safe. And I want every child to understand that the blessings these brave Americans fight for are not free—that with the great privilege of being a citizen of this nation comes great responsibility.

That was the lesson your grandmother tried to teach me when I was your age, reading me the opening lines of the Declaration of Independence and telling me about the men and women who marched for equality because they believed those words put to paper two centuries ago should mean something.

She helped me understand that America is great not because it is perfect but because it can always be made better—and that the unfinished work of perfecting our union falls to each of us. It’s a charge we pass on to our children, coming closer with each new generation to what we know America should be.

I hope both of you will take up that work, righting the wrongs that you see and working to give others the chances you’ve had. Not just because you have an obligation to give something back to this country that has given our family so much—although you do have that obligation. But because you have an obligation to yourself. Because it is only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you will realize your true potential.

These are the things I want for you—to grow up in a world with no limits on your dreams and no achievements beyond your reach, and to grow into compassionate, committed women who will help build that world. And I want every child to have the same chances to learn and dream and grow and thrive that you girls have. That’s why I’ve taken our family on this great adventure.

I am so proud of both of you. I love you more than you can ever know. And I am grateful every day for your patience, poise, grace, and humor as we prepare to start our new life together in the White House.

Love, Dad

Source

F*** It

I don't usually do New Year's Resolutions because I'm often in a perpetual state of self-improvement pledges: "I'm going to get more than four hours a sleep a night! I'm going to finish reading The Cointelpro Papers and do something concrete and productive about what I've read instead of just feeling furious and powerless. I'm going to find a financially abundant outlet for my writing/singing/crocheting/shit-talking, lose 15 pounds, quit drinking, buy a house and settle down with the perfect pot of chocolate."

All of this self-talk makes me a little crazy.

There's a fine line between self-improvement and self-flagelation. I often focus on what I don't have and what I'm not accomplishing and end up taking the folks who love and like me for granted. Sometimes I get envious of all of the happy, sparkly people out here grinding and react by falling off the grid. Not healthy.

So for '09, I'm going to stop obsessing about doing things right and better and best and just live. In the present and with joy. If I fuck up, fuck it.